I’ve never been much of an honest blogger. Sure, there was the occasional critical restaurant review but that’s about as far away as possible from anything I really wanted to write about. Indifference, I learned, is a comfortable mask.
Why? Maybe because I’m a little terrified—that my thoughts, expressed into words and spilled into the public, are going to sound distorted, a little foolish and probably laughable. Or, rather, (possibly the main reason), is that I’m scared about admitting certain truths I chose to hide.
It almost seems like an open invitation for criticism and I'd never been very good at handling them without feeling being personally attacked.
“Courage and truth aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weaknesses.” - Brené Brown
Sure, I know. I know. I know.
Nobody ever said growing up is painless. Remember that Arcade Fire song? “…Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.” For what it’s worth, today will be a new beginning. I want to blog more. I will blog more. About identity, cultural barriers, existential loneliness, and all the other things that run through a mind that never switches off.
"Writing is…. being able to take something whole and fiercely alive that exists inside you in some unknowable combination of thought, feeling, physicality, and spirit, and to then store it like a genie in tense, tiny black symbols on a calm white page. If the wrong reader comes across the words, they will remain just words. But for the right readers, your vision blooms off the page and is absorbed into their minds like smoke, where it will re-form, whole and alive, fully adapted to its new environment."
- Mary Gaitskill
So please, if you have anything to say, please feel free to message me. Thank you and good night!